A Bitch and A Flasher

I was totally gonna post another recipe for you today since I've been cooking up a storm lately, but I have to tell you about the drama I experienced last night!

Ok, so first I just have to tell you...I don't care if you have a bad day and maybe if you really are a complete jerk inside...keep it in people.  Save it for your spouse or for your girlfriends' ears.  Don't...I repeat don't get all bitchy in Hobby Lobby with the poor checkout girl who's just doing her job.

Last night I had to run into Hobby Lobby to pick up some floral foam and a couple other random things for the wedding this weekend.  When I came in there were 2 checkout lines...both full, but one definitely longer than the other.  I had the thought..."well, looks like I might have a little bit of a wait checking out, so I need to book it to get out of here at a reasonable time."

When I got everything I needed and came back to the checkout line, I got in the shorter one....duh?!

The checkout girl finished up 2 people in front of me and began checking out the lady directly in front of me.  Then out of nowhere...there's this freakishly rude high pitched voice yelling from 2 aisles over..."Excuse ME!  EXCUSE ME!"

We all look around to see who the heck is being so miserable.  Then we see this lady in the other line waving her arms and yelling at my checkout line girl.  "EXCUSE ME!  Do you see this line over here?!  We have all been waiting in this line much longer than the people in your line.  We have all assumed that YOU were only processing returns and as a result have been waiting for a really long time in THIS LINE!  Not once did you turn around and tell us that you were available for checkout of regular items.  We have all been assuming that you were only doing returns!  This is ridiculous and I am just furious and frustrated.  I have my kids at home and I shop here all the time.  This is absolutely ridiculous!!!"

My checkout girl was stunned (along with everyone else in earshot...which was pretty much the entire freaking store!)  She just said "I'm sorry you assumed that ma'm, but I have been processing both returns and regular checkouts this entire time."

The woman launches in again..."This in unbelievable.  This customer service is atrocious!  As much money as I spend in this store and here you are making excuses for your poor performance.  You could have at the very least told ALL OF US WAITING IN THIS LINE FOREVER that you were available!  You need to do your job...this is absolutely unbelievable.  If I didn't really need these items I'd have left a long time ago.  What a waste of my time!"

My checkout girl looks white in the face and is now shaking she's clearly so angry.  And I couldn't blame her.  She whispers into her walkie talkie to her manager and says "Please come up here...there is a woman freaking out on me and it's making me REALLY angry.  Seriously...come now."

The manager comes up and the tirade continues to the manager.  It gets louder, it gets worse, she's absolutely berating this poor girl who has been working consistently the entire time.  The girl is now checking out my stuff and looks like she's about to burst into tears.  I said to her, "Are you ok?  Do you want me to let your manager know that you haven't done anything wrong?  It's going to be alright."

She says "Something like this could make me lose my job.  I can't afford to lose my job."

The lady is still loudly bitching in the background.  By this point I want to punch her in the mouth too.  I think EVERYONE in Hobby Lobby wanted to punch her in the mouth just to shut it up.  So rude...I can't even tell you.  Un-believable!

I finished checking out and still hear the lady yelling about assuming that the line was just for returns and the incompetency of the girl running the register.  I wanted so badly to walk over and say "Excuse me ma'm...I just wanted to remind you that 'you know what happens we we 'assume' right?!' ....yeah...ass out of you and me.  Remember that one.  Yeah....maybe you should."

But I didn't.  I walked out to my car and put my bags into it.  Then a lady who checked out in the line before the yelling lady came out.  I asked her if it was really all that bad, because to me it didn't seem so and I was concerned about the girls' job security after the rant.  She looks at me and says "Oh...I see.  You're THAT person!  I've had a bad day regardless...I don't really care."  And then she walked off.

WHAT THE CRAP?!  Why is everyone peeing in everyone else's cornflakes?!  Seriously?!  Can't we all just get along?  So I walked back into Hobby Lobby, hid behind the fake flower section til the lady with the spawn-of-satan attitude left, and then went up to the manager and said that I didn't think the checkout girl did a thing wrong.  She thanked me and then I left.  Yeah....I'm THAT person...and that's just fine with me.

So then off I go to take a couple of dresses to a friend to try on for the wedding this weekend.  She and her Hubs are staying in a Residence Inn before a move across the big pond to Europe for a year of work.  They were sitting in the lobby taking advantage of the free happy hour.  I joined them for a beer and some laughs til all of a sudden my friend is completely alarmed and says "OH MY GOODNESS!"  We all lookedei out the window to see an overweigh middle aged man who's wearing no pants get back into his car and speed away.  Who knows how long he'd been sitting there, because we weren't paying attention, but my poor friend got an eyeful of this pervert doing things in public that noone would want to know he did in private anyways.  Then he zoomed away....satisfied with his perversion and violation of people he didn't know I'm sure.  And I wanted to punch him in the mouth too...and kick him in the you know where.

What the heck is wrong with people?!  Unbelievable rudeness and completely disgusting perverts in one night?!

I honestly have no idea what I want to say about any of it other than...don't assume....don't be wretched...and keep your freaking pants on in public.

Makes me want to go be a farmer in remote Virginia and homeschool my kids...and make cans of everything I grow in my organic garden...and make fresh bread every morning after milking the cow to make fresh butter too.  Seriously....we're raising our kids in a rough world and sometimes I wish I could escape it all.  I'm just believing that the Lord is gonna show me how to live well myself and to raise little lights to shine in this dark world.  Because it's dark...and that was all in just an hour yesterday.

UGH!

Cheaters....I am one.

Sometimes I wonder if the title is the dirty little hook that makes more of you come over and read than you normally would?  If so, then I bet your human curiosity jumped you right here faster than normal.

I hate to disappoint you, but I don't have a sordid tale of marital unfaithfulness wrought with awfulness and redemption to tell you.  About the worst side of cheating I've experienced personally was with a boyfriend in college who broke my heart into a million pieces when he told me he'd gotten some other girl pregnant and didn't think it necessary to tell me about it until after the baby was a month old....on Father's Day nonetheless.  I think all I did was cry to realize he'd cheated in the first place and then lied to me for an entire gestational period, but what I've always wished I'd said was "well, Happy Freaking Father's Day to you!"

I didn't say that though.

And I guess the other time I've felt cheating glare me in the face was walking with some friends through an affair that one of them had several years ago.  Next to losing babies, that was maybe one of the hardest things I've walked through in my life.  I do want to add that particular relationship has spent years on the road to beautiful restoration...but I know that the wreckage of cheating can span far and wide.  Our relationships with them, while still hugely precious to me, have never been the same...and that makes me sad.

But today...I am feeling like the big cheater.  And though it can't touch breaking of vows or months of long lies, I'm still feeling really horrible.

I'm having my hair cut by another person today.

I know...I know.  You just read that sentence and are thinking (particularly if you are a man) "Are you freaking kidding me?!  She's feeling guilty because she's having someone new cut her hair today?  Give me a break?!"

It's true though.  I literally woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful.  My friend who has cut my hair since COLLEGE didn't even start out as a friend...she was just the new girl who was good with color and trying to build clientele.  And she got the most loyal of customers out of me til today.  

I've been with this girl since she was a crazy raver with pink streaks in her hair and 4 inch platform shoes to now...and over all these years, she's morphed into the most unbelievable wife and mommy of 2 precious children.  I've gone from wide-eyed college grad to wife and mommy too...and she's walked it all with me.  We went from a couple of hours with foils in my hair to hours on the phone talking about the deeper questions in life.  When she was between salons, there were several occasions where I bent my head into the tub at her apartment and rinsed out bleach and color and foils over a glass of wine and way more time than it really takes to get a cut and color.

And here I am today....cheating.

It's not that I don't love Ang.  It's not that I think someone else will make my head more amazing than she can.  It's that since she's doing and being the thing she needs to be...awesome wife and mom...she only works now on Friday nights and Saturdays.  The truth is, that's just not when I want to get my hair cut.  And sure I'm a little intrigued to see what a new person might think about how to make my head look super cool...because this new person has a sweet sense of style and an adorable little shop downtown that even Ang would have a fit over.  And I'm curious.  And the time frame is more convenient.  And I'm not committing to a full on switch...it's just one cut.

But let's just be honest.  If the cut has for years been as much about the relationship as the actual hairstyle, then why isn't it now?  Why is getting a haircut on a Saturday suddenly inconvenient to me....when i know that once I'm in her chair I'll be glad for every single second of face-time.  And I don't know.  Maybe all the time and space that happens between us makes it harder to give up that precious time with my family all together?  Maybe I just like having Saturdays that are impromptu and unscheduled. Maybe it's "just my hair" and since I colored it back to natural, it's just not something that I want to spend lots of time messing with, so I go 6 months at a time between cuts, and more time and space happens because of it.

I don't know what it is, but I do know this....the relationship still matters to me.  And as with all the relationships in my life that seem to get pushed father aside as children begin to have their own schedules, and their own friends to tend, and vacations push times at home farther apart, and life gets busy....I miss it.  I miss the relationship.   It gets harder to tend something that gets farther and farther apart doesn't it?  And I wonder if I'm just too lazy to put in the time or if maybe I've just become a cheater?

I know it's just a haircut....but is it really?  Or is it really a bigger question in life that we can all ask ourselves and be aware of in friendships, and relationships, and marriage....

How much distance can we tolerate before we cheat?  And what kind of face time are we willing to put in to protect the things and the people who are important to us?  

One thing I find myself thinking is that I'm really glad that God is more faithful than I am.  

Psalm 36: 5 - Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Food for Thought: Escha-what?!

Ok. So I wrote the post about the weather last night, but am making an addition now here with some interesting things I came across today.


Eschatology...is basically the study of end times, and this morning when I was having some time with the Lord I most interestingly (but probably not coincidentally) ended up reading about eschatology.  I started out with some reading in Psalms because our church is reading through the Bible this year.  Somehow a cross reference ended me up in Matthew, and then my eye jumped from the cross reference to some verses that I had underlined on the opposite page.  So I ended up in Matthew 21:18-22 which talks about Jesus cursing the fig tree and willing it to wither and die.  Then subsequently he tells the disciples that if they have faith and do not doubt, then they can do like he did to the fig tree, they can command mountains to fall into the sea and it will happen.  That the things that we ask in prayer and believing, we will receive.

I have a thing about figs.  I've posted recipes with them before and will do more when fig season is upon us later this summer.  And I started thinking about how often I've noticed that figs turn up in scripture, and I got to wondering.  "What is the deal with figs?"

So i googled "fig tree" and also searched it on BibleGateway (which by the way is a really great, FREE resource for different Bible translations, does searches...it's awesome.)  I found 49 instances where figs were referenced in the Bible.  Many of those references point to figs being a symbol of prosperity in Biblical times.  And then i looked up figs on Wikipedia as well to learn more about them.  That ended me up reading about the Parable of the Barren Fig tree that I just told you about, and from that reading about Figs in the Bible.  Figs are mentioned in what is called The Olivet Discourse which is a biblical passage found in the Mark 13, Matthew 24, and Luke 21. Apparently it is sometimes referred to as the "Little Apocalypse" because it includes Jesus' descriptions of the end times.  So you see how this happened?  Psalms to figs to end times?
 
I know...it's a serious Biblical ADD...or maybe just what I was supposed to be reading today after posting about the weather and end times last night.  So then I started reading all around about end times and eschatology and tribulation and views on it all, and I determined something....

I will not determine or know what time is the "end time."

And from what I can tell that the Bible says, noone but God will know.  But boy are there a lot of camps about when and how people think it will happen.  I mean, wasn't Jesus supposedly predicted by some people to come back about a month ago?  I'm pretty sure that didn't go like the predictors thought it would.  

I wonder who avoided going to the bathroom all day for fear they'd be raptured while on the can?  Or who didn't drive that day lest their vehicle be abandoned while zooming down the interstate? But seriously...I guess the question keeps being asked and keeps being answered because we, humans, like to be in control.  We like to know things.  We like to have a handle on how to plan, and what will happen when we're ready for it, so that we can get ready.  And what I determined today (and you may most certainly disagree with me,) is that in the realm of eschatology and deciding when and where and how you think that end times will happen, it probably doesn't really matter....because sometime, there will be an end, and I, in my humanity, am not in a position to know just when that will be.

So for here and now, I think I'll do the best that I can to serve well the God who gave me a second chance at a full life through Jesus Christ...and who also gave us all... figs.

PS. If my delving into big words like "eschatology" or topics like "end times" freaks you out, I am sorry...it's just what I've been thinking about lately.  I've also been thinking about redecorating my boys' bathroom with some fun art I found in Montana, so if that's more your speed and interest, stick around...I'll tell you more about that stuff in the next couple of days too!

Apocalypse Now?...

I don't know about the rest of you and what the weather is like where you live, but it's been crazy around South Carolina the past couple of months.  And from what I can tell on the news, across the rest of the country it's been pretty crazy too.  There have been record numbers of tornadoes, floods, winds, and storms pretty much everywhere.  I have lived the majority of my life in the Carolinas and until about a month ago, in the Carolinas I have never seen THIS.

I was out riding bikes with my family for about 20 minutes last night and stopped to talk to a neighbor.  In about 5 minutes, the sky got dark and the wind started howling, and we got the heck out of dodge if you know what I mean.  Ride like the wind I tell you...and the wind was blowing seriously fast.

I saw this picture last night that a friend linked on facebook of the storm here in town.  It was taken about 10 minutes from where I live.

Ummm.... now listen, I don't know a thing about tornadoes except what I've seen on Extreme Weather on the Weather Channel or on the movie "Terrible Tuesday" that I watched several times in school growing up, but isn't that sort of how tornadoes start?  And whether it is or not, I'd just like to say that I live in South Carolina because we don't have storms like people do out in places like Kansas and Oklahoma....and I like that about South Carolina.  But perhaps we do have storms sort of like that...actually, apparently we do.

Last week when I was in Montana there were storms in town with over 80 mph straight-line winds.  I'd never even heard of straight-line winds until a friend told me that they took out 17 trees in her yard and completely rearranged the furniture at her neighborhood pool.  Look what they did to my yard too.  I guess I'm lucky to just have one tree casualty....still, look where this thing fell. 

(Yes that is directly between the 2 play sets in my yard.  Um.... I'm a little uncomfortable with that.  And the fact that it was entirely uprooted.)

And then last night I also heard of a roof blowing directly off of a building into the middle of a major road.  This does not happen here.  Oh yeah, and when we were coming back from our trip the other night, there was a billboard at our exit that was bent into a 90 degree angle.  Just wrapped around the pole, like it was a piece of cardboard that someone flicked too hard.

All to say, it's weird.  And did you know that apparently one of Saturn's moons lost a ring recently too?  Yeah...random tidbit I learned from a friend who knows tidbits like that.  And I can't help but really wonder to myself...how do you know when it really is the "end times?"  I mean, the Bible says we won't know the exact date and time of Jesus' return, but it does say that things can get weirder beforehand.  I don't claim to know at all ya'll, but I do wonder.  And in the end, what I do know is that however weird and weathery it gets here, when He comes back...I for one am going with Him.

PS. For fear that you all begin think I'm some freaky end times theologian or something...I just want to say "stop right there.  I'm not."  Surely though, I'm not the only person wondering what in the world is going on with the world? And with the weather?

Friends for Life...

I'm home from Montana.

And let me tell you what a welcome we got... we had to get our car jump-started in the Charlotte airport Sunday night at 11:45pm, got home at almost 2am to a broken upstairs A/C and 83 degrees in all the bedrooms, storms for days that had uprooted a 90ft pine in our backyard and debris everywhere.  I spent the greater part of the day yesterday having to get a new car battery and new tires (the tire part was overdue) and then had to have a heating and air guy come fix the A/C in the afternoon.  Turns out that it had been damaged from a giant tree branch falling on it during the storms while we were gone.  WOW!  All to say...that's why you didn't hear from me yesterday.

So, I'm rapidly back in the swing of things and have a bridal lingerie shower to plan for this coming weekend.  Whew...it'll happen, but I sure do already miss the pace of Montana.

Which brings me to something I've been dying to share about our trip.  First I should say that for our entire family, this was our most favorite vacation we've ever taken all together.  It was perfect for our kids, gorgeous everywhere, and we spent some really special time with extended family and also some old friends.

The friends part though is what I've been thinking about the past few days.

I wish I could find at least one really old picture to share with you.  But they're old and I'm pretty sure that my mom has the bulk of the ones from when I was a little kid.  When we were in Montana we had the chance to get in a couple days visit with a super old friend of mine and his family who live about 4 hours from where we were staying.  The last time we all saw one another was at my wedding almost 8 years ago.  We've kept up... but it's been a long time, and we've never met one another's kids.

My childhood friend, Jeremy, and his amazing wife LB, came to visit along with their 3 adorable children.  They spent Thursday and Friday nights with us in my aunt's cabin, and Saturday night they stayed in Polebridge (in the cute cabin I'd featured on the blog the other day nonetheless) since my family had to leave Sunday morning.  We adventured over to the east side of Glacier on Friday and hiked, and ate, and in general had the best time all together.  Our kids got along so well that they were actually crossing into being really annoying, LB and I could have talked for days and still not run out of subjects, and the guys honestly seemed to have an almost identical sense of humor.

It was just fun.

Here we all are in the rain before we headed out to Polebridge for part of the day on Saturday.  I'm kinda covering up my Hubs' head, but do you know how hard it is to get a decent picture with 9 people (5 of which are all ages 5 and under?!)

And here is perhaps one of my favorite pictures from our whole trip...all 5 of our kids together.

Jeremy and I first met when we were about Little Bit's age (around 17 months old,) and my mom always likes to tell people that he bit me in the nursery at church the first time we met.  What a way to start a friendship huh?!  But the truth is that it must have been, because he was one of my very best friends for as long as I could remember.  We grew up in church together and had the same group of friends all the way through.  A rare group of friends who all loved and respected one another, and still do today.  The kind of friends you know that you were blessed to have had then, and the kind who you know made you into a better person now.  We were all those kind of friends.  We went to one another's weddings, and these days, life and time has spread us all across not just the country, but even the globe.

I got emotional when we left our sweet friends at Polebridge on Saturday....after adventures in the outdoors, and kids playing together, and meals shared, and late nights talking about faith and life and everything in between.  And I've been thinking the past few days about friends like that. About how rare and treasured and few they are.  Friends who have known you before you even really knew yourself...and who are still around...who have grown into the people you always knew they could and probably would be.  The kind who still top your list of people you admire in life.  

To have known a person since I was younger than my own children, and to share time with the families God has blessed us each with, and for each one of us all to feel even more richly blessed in our lives because of our time all together...it's rare.  And that rarity isn't the least bit lost on me.

So... despite the insanity that greeted us on our doorstep when we returned home, I choose to still feel overwhelmed not by the chaos of daily life...but rather overwhelmed by the blessings of a full life, and some of the same treasured friends still swirling around in it.  Jeremy, LB, and kiddos... I love you guys.  It was time well spent and my heart is fuller now because of it.

LB has a blog where she writes about life in Montana, and specifically gardening in the harsh Montana climate.  You can check that out HERE if you're interested.

Food for Thought...The Unqualified...

Have you ever thought to yourself...

"I really need to get in shape so that I can go to the gym."

If you've ever been to a gym at a low point in your fitness regime (meaning, you haven't been in ages and your butt is about as flat as the exercise bench...or your belly is about as round and mushy as a Bosu ball)...then I'd be willing to bet that you've seriously considered doing some running for a couple of months and THEN coming back to exercise in the company of others.  

If you've never had that thought, then consider *THIS* the part where I just kicked you in the teeth because I'm jealous of your round butt and flat abs and superior perspective. 

Seriously though, what is it about thinking we have to get ourselves in shape before we can really get in shape?  Or thinking we have to get our lives "on track" before we can even talk to God?

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you thought to yourself... "What a mess I've made.  Once I get things straightened out I'm really going to start praying again....or going to church again....or whatever?"

I heard a really cool thought the other day...

Oftentimes, the very thing that we think disqualifies us for work in the Kingdom of Heaven, is actually our most qualifying attribute.

Most of you know that I have lost 2 babies.  In so many ways, God continues to redeem those losses by allowing me to breathe life into others who are walking a path similar to my own.  The very loss, struggles, and pain...some of my many "disqualifiers"... are some of the things that I continue to find God using most for good as I continue to step forward in my life.  Because I've walked a hard road, I can see some of what that road could look like for other people...I'm aware of a need, and thus I'm more equipped to help meet it.

Maybe you've dealt with addiction and think that keeps you from being worthy of even coming before a perfect God.  Maybe you've horribly wounded a relationship and think that keeps you from being able to pour into others.  What if you had an affair, does that keep you from ever being able to have a good marriage again, or perspective for maintaining a marriage?  Perhaps you have lost a person in your life and think your overwhelming grief for months or years disqualifies you from being able to ever share laughs or joy again.  Maybe you think that your own failure to triumph over anything nullifies your ability to have wisdom for others.  I don't know what your thing is, but we all have something.

"What you are determines what you see...

and what you see determines what you do."

And we all see things differently.  We notice pain in others differently, we notice joy differently, we all have differing perspectives on everything because we've all walked different paths in life.  But our different hardships don't disqualify us from doing good, but rather we are empowered because of wisdom gained from walking through hardships.  When you have walked through a particular fire, you're more equipped to help someone else do it too...and perhaps do it even better than you did.

I don't know, I've been thinking about this for a few days....running back in my mind to my failures, my inadequacies, my struggles...the things that I'd think could get in the way of me living a life that is pleasing to the Lord.  You know...the stuff that I've crapped up.  And I keep noticing the same things as I retrace steps and rethink processes and directions I've taken...I learned something each time, with each thing.  Some good stuff and some bad stuff, but no matter what I learned, I'm more aware of those things in life...in others.  I'm more aware of how to encourage someone, to help someone, to meet a need.  My disqualifiers make me more qualified to overcome than if I hadn't dealt with them in the first place.  I remember a post I wrote some time back HERE, and there was a quote I'd just heard that said...

"You can't overcome something you never underwent."

And I'm reminded of that thought again:  That the things I've undergone make me even more qualified to overcome again...and again...and again...and to be used for great things for God because of them.

I don't have to be fit before I get started on fitness.  I don't have to be perfect before God can use me. Just think of all the time we waste... deferring what could be present greatness as we prepare to actually achieve it in the future.

I'm qualified just as I am for greatness NOW...

and SO ARE YOU.

I Will You To Do This...

This weekend, we left our kids with my parents and going on a trip.

I had you at “leaving our kids with my parents” didn't I?!

It's the first time that we've left Little Bit overnight since he was born. He is 16 months old now. I get called out of church nursery almost weekly because he pitches a fit. Remember not long ago I got called out of church because he had pitched a fit...and then later, I pitched a fit too?  Yeah, I've had some concerns about leaving him overnight.

My parents are great and my kids love them. Mom is super creative and fun, and my dad loves taking them to the Science Center to explore. They'll have a wonderful time I know. But it's still hard.

The Hubs and I have actually really been looking forward to a 7 hour car drive. Seven hours in a car without kids is way more like what “road trips” used to be...fun, an adventure, good quality time together. But then there's the business of the “what if you die” thing.

Yeah, that's completely unawesome to have to think about or talk about in every way. But we've never actually done a living will. Have you?

It's one of those things that everyone talks about, but how many of us have actually taken the time to sit down and do it? Maybe you're more thorough than I am...you probably are.

So on the way to Washington, DC I clinked out a really rough email on my phone that basically said what to do with our kids, money, and debts if we died. I'm sure that it's not good enough. Thankfully, the Hubs' dad is a lawyer and he quickly turned that 5 sentence email into an official document that should serve the purpose, if heaven help us, it needed to.

But I thought that if you out there haven't ever done this before (and don't have the Hubs' dad to fix your poorly constructed will for you,) you might like a link to an easy way to fill out a living will that a friend sent me awhile back. (I know, I know...I've had it but STILL haven't done it.) You can do this at home without the help of a lawyer, even though I've been told it's best to eventually really iron things out with legal advice. Still, it's better to have something in place that would stand up in a court than nothing at all.

So here you go...for your filling out pleasure....in case you kick the bucket. Your Last Will and Testament 

- Logan

Tales of a Lesser Woman: Not Eggsactly my Best Moment...

I bet what you're really wanting to read is something profound about Easter right now, or perhaps you are stopping by just because you're hoping that I'm posting pictures of our Easter Egg Hunt yesterday...sorry to disappoint you all...not what you're about to get.  It's been a big weekend full of activity and legitimate emotion over the real meaning of it all.  I'm running on too little sleep, and due to that I had another completely ridiculous temper tantrum last night (I promise you this is not a constant thing with me.)

I was making a batch of brownies at about 9:45pm and was pretty flaming mad about something I won't go into. I was to a step in the recipe that rendered me with an egg in each hand.  If you've been reading here long enough to realize, this is in fact the point where it is appropriate to have the "Uh OH" moment in your mind. Mad...eggs....Uh Oh.

One slipped and fell, but not to worry, I caught it between my stomach and the side of the counter.  I also effectively crushed it right there in that moment, emptying the contents of said egg onto my foot below.  This was apparently my last straw because when my Hubs said something smart to me about it, I got so mad that I threw the other remaining egg at the wall. 

Have I ever mentioned to you how I am so mature all of the time?!  WOW!  And it's still debatable to me what was worse...throwing the egg in a fit of completely ridiculous rage on the wall in my kitchen in the first place, or having to scrub it off 45 minutes later when it was beginning to dry. 

Notes to self:  Do not throw eggs in your house.  Do not be ridiculous.  Get sufficient sleep. 

Sherwin Williams Duration Home paint is scrubbable and washable as advertised though...in case you were wondering.

As I pondered and prayed through my awfulness last night though, I did find myself particularly aware of and thankful for a Resurrected Lord who washes all of that ugliness away.  I'm sure in the realm of sin, throwing an egg in my house is probably not the worst that the Lord has had to deal with....and sad to say, it probably won't be the last time he hears from me with something nasty to confess either.  Sin is sin though...and little or big, mine or yours, it's all in the same bucket of dirty laundry that needs cleaning.  And I for one am thankful to have a Lord who took that cross from me, because heaven knows that mine alone would be a heavy cross to bear....I can't imagine everyone's added up.  That is Love my friends....Capital L.O.V.E. 

So if you are mortified now because you think I'm airing my dirty laundry, well, I suppose you're right in a way.  But I'm airing it only after it's been cleaned.  And my dirty laundry sure was dirty.  But, when The God of Creation looks at me, He sees me in garments that have been cleaned... bleached even.  Not a drop of egg on me friends...or on my wall.  My Father just sees a scrubbed, washed, durable, perfect coat of love covering it all.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2:8-9

Whew...thankful for that!

My Easter Basket of Perspective...

Last night I was cleaning the kitchen, picking up small toys around the house, and throwing away random junk in preparation for our Easter party tomorrow.  And I finally stopped about 11pm, at which point I felt that it was wildly necessary or iron and put in place a new dustruffle that I got for our bed about a month ago.  So important, I know right?!  I was busy last night...really busy.  I've got to get this show moving!

One thing I should tell you about me is that once my kids are in bed, I'm done for the day.  If I have something big going on, then I'll spend that time of quiet accomplishing things, but on any regular ol' night....I'm in my jammies and crawling into bed to read, or write, or watch a movie.  And yes, my kids go to bed early.  This means that while I don't go to sleep til probably 11, I'm winding down from about 8 o'clock on.  But not yesterday.

And then right before I went to bed, I checked my email and my new twitter feed.  And then I felt kinda guilty....and more than guilty, I felt sad. 

In my inbox were feeds of blogs I subscribe to, and on twitter were some really short blurbs about how people were preparing their hearts and minds for this Easter's real show stopper.  And that reality stopped my own show right where I was.  I'd gotten so busy messing with a party, that I wasn't enjoying the heavy reality of what these days mean. 

We don't do the Easter Bunny around here.  Gasp now, because we don't do Santa either.  And while there hasn't been a lost tooth yet....the Tooth Fairy's chances aren't looking good.  (I'll explain more on all of that later on, but just know I'm not a Debbie Downer...I won't let my kid ruin it for yours and I don't have any issue with other people taking part in the imaginary fun in their families.)  So... while in our house, we go to lengths to make sure that a Jesus-related holiday isn't confused with something else, I realized that my own focus on something other than Him was actually just as disappointing.  It didn't matter that it wasn't a big white bunny, or Cadbury eggs, or the contents of a basket. 

But I tell you what, if the way my house looks, and the decorating, and the preparing, the flower arranging...if it all clouds my view of a Servant Savior who washed his friends' feet yesterday, and marched up a hill bearing the burden of a heavy cross laden with the sins of the world today, and spent 3 days DEAD....

all for me,

Then I'd say my view of the bigger picture might just as well be one of bunnies, and men in red suits, and fairies taking a tooth from under my pillow.  Because all of those things, while fun and pretty...they don't even know my name.  They aren't real.

So today as I look at the pouring rain outside, and realize that my plans of clipping flowers from my neighbors garden are all but dashed this morning...I find myself feeling more at peace.  The darkness still in my room reminding me of the darkness of these days we're in.  The darkness of my own sins reveling in trying to smother me....the sin of the world itching to snuff out all of creation.  The plan of one enemy to take it all and keep it for himself...and ruin something that was created for beauty.  And then... a Savior...who came to the earth clothed in rags, and hung on a cross in them again....buying it all back when he could've gotten down.

Paying it all.

Paying it all.

“This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” - Luke 22:19

And I find myself not looking as much towards a party at our house tomorrow, but a party in the Heavenlies on Sunday.

Perspective....renewed.

A Megaphone for the A' La Mode....

I read the following quote on Twitter this morning.  Oh yeah, guess who's on Twitter now?!  Tweet Tweet people!  Check me out HERE and see what I have to chirp about.

So here's the quote.

"Blogging is not a stepping stone for me. Blogging isn’t a way for me to build a platform so I can do whatever it is that I really want to do. I’m doing what I really want to do, right now, and I’m not looking for something that will give me extra credibility. I just want a megaphone."
The Nester, for S Bryant on "Writing an e-book: Is it a fit for you?" (via 29lincolnavenue.)

And I was thinking about it especially since I met with my very talented friend Erin yesterday of Insight Blog Design.   Re-doing this blog, it's on my list of things to do, and now it's on hers too!  And so I've been wondering lately what I've been doing here.  She challenged me to figure that out for the redesign, and here's what I've come up with....

I'm a naturally wired social networker, which is probably why I've loved this avenue more than I've ever though I would.  I've been networking and loving making friends all over for YEARS....even before there was facebook.  I've joined business networking groups, was in a sorority in college (social chair even), I'm one of the first to volunteer for planning any event, and I love hosting parties where everyone I know can just come and have a good time.  So for me, blogging gets to be that.  But even better because I get to demystify some of the things that I do and make them tangible for people who don't give themselves the credit they deserve.  I get to pour into people just by thinking out loud.  And then there are moments where I see a friend in Marshalls and they learned to cut an onion because of me, or I get an email that says "I had a recipe for something that called for a leek and I pulled up your blog and followed the instructions to cut it. Thanks!"  I'm a natural product endorser too....when I love something, you will know it.  And then I want everyone to get in on the greatness, or the fun, or the making life better one comfy shoe or clean floor at a time. Once in awhile I have a profound learning moment, and even thinking back through it to share, I find that I'm able to often gain even more perspective...so I learn from my own mistakes even better because I share them with you.  And I think that one thing that has been the most fun for me is just being me and getting to know some of you.

But here's the thing that I always want to be here no matter what the look of things is...whether I have a great header, or an embarrassing moment, or the most delicious recipe, or even a thought-provoking word....what I always want to be is....

authentic.

I'm learning that this avenue can eventually help provide some extra income for our family (so be on the lookout with the new redesign for some cool ad space. I promise it'll be nice, not annoying), but more importantly it is another way for me to pour into other people (from where I sit behind this screen)..and I genuinely LOVE doing that.  

So Nester, I agree....I just want a megaphone to share the right now of life....because it's the dessert, the icing on the cake...the a' la mode.  And I don't want to run by and miss it on my way to anything else.  I want to walk, take time to smell the roses, to feel the rain...and to have people walk alongside with me to make it that much sweeter!

 

Sharecropping...

I have to tell you something about where we live...our neighborhood that is.  It's the kind of neighborhood with a great blend of families with young kids, families with teenagers, families with college students, empty nesters, and full fledged grandparents....and we absolutely LOVE it!  The yards are big and full of trees and mature shrubbery, flowers, etc...truly, it's lovely.  And everyone for the most part takes real pride and joy in being part of this community.  And today, well I saw members of our neighborhood come together in a way that I just think is how community really should function.

In a world where life is spent mostly in the fast lane, or the drive through, or the self service check out, or within the confines of a fenced-in yard....well, it just seems that people don't invest in one another quite like they used to do...before my time that is.  Back in the day where a barn raising was an occasion for everyone to band together and help their neighbors,  or people would spend long summer afternoons "taking a turn about their gardens" just to spend time together. Seems to me that in a lot of ways, those days have been replaced by a modern hunger for self-satisfaction...leaving little room for selflessness... little room for true community.

But today, today I saw community at it's finest!

A couple from our neighborhood has the most fabulous garden.  Tid Bit calls it the "Secret Garden" because of it's winding pathways and lush plant life.  There is also a full vegetable garden, complete with loads of fruit trees... and the best part is that they are beyond generous with it all!  They have allowed me to clip flowers from their gardens for any party, as well as sharing the most wonderful tomatoes, baskets and baskets of plums, corn, okra, figs...you name it, if they have it, they share it.  So much that we quite look forward to certain seasons when we know we will get to go enjoy the fruits of their gardens!


The gentleman of the gardens (we'll call him Mr Neighbor-Gardener) was recently struck too ill to be able to do all of his usual planting and so his Mrs. asked for some help from friends and neighbors. They provided a barbeque lunch and then everyone set to planting according to the instruction of our neighbor (who is a Master Gardener and full of wise gardening instruction!)

Check this out!

<----There is Tid Bit in the background planting some seeds.  He was taking his work very seriously.  Also, I noticed when I was looking through these pictures that the lady in the foreground was wearing a shirt that said "Life is Simple" and I thought to myself how true that felt yesterday watching everyone pitch in to help out a friend.

Look at all the people who came out to help! In the end everyone planted tomatoes, cantalope, okra, beans, corn, and more!

 I love this picture.  I love watching the friend push our neighbor to the best place for him to give good instruction, and I LOVE seeing Tid Bit following along...ready to receive instruction, and clearly excited to be helping out.  He insisted that he'd need his kid-sized wheelbarrow and looks like he was right!

Mr. Neighbor-Gardener is the nicest man.  He, by the way, is always in a wheelchair and does this garden every single year...from the chair.  Now if that's not a kick in the pants for not making excuses, then I don't know what is.  We have the MOST respect for this man!  He is kind and generous in word and deed.

I so enjoy seeing my husband teaching our boy how to serve others...and to do it well.  Both of my guys had the best time working together and being a part of something bigger than themselves.  It's good to see people come together for the good of others!

I got all of these pictures from Mrs. Neighbor-Gardener who sent them out yesterday as "proof of our sharecropping status!"  I couldn't help but think that sharecropping or not...helping people when they need it really is being the hands and feet of Jesus.

And last night, it was a pleasure cleaning dirt off of those little hands that learned that lesson well.

Food for Thought...The Goo in the Pan

Remember all the cooking I've been doing this week?  Well, when I made the Fig and Sausage Salad for Friday night's meal deliveries, I made a mess in my pan that looked very similarly to this loveliness on the left.  My mess was actually worse because it was from caramelizing onions.  It was the kind of burnt on mess that if I understood chemical reactions, I'd swear that the onion juice had somehow formed an impenetrable chemical bond with the bottom of my pan.  I don't understand chemical reactions though...but I am fairly certain that actual scenario isn't actually possible.

So it soaked overnight and then when i still couldn't get it off, I stuck it in the dishwasher to see if that helped at all.


It didn't.  But I think I really knew that.  I just wanted to buy myself another day before I had to deal with it.  Because the stuff had to come off, lest it ruin every subsequent thing I endeavor to cook in that pan.  I could avoid it, but I couldn't leave it.

So this morning, when I was unloading the dishwasher, there it was waiting for me in all of it's burnt on glory.

This pan called for a heavy duty cleaner....

And... some help from The Hubs!

We alternated scrubbing the burnt on mess for probably almost 30 minutes until it was finally clean again.  And while I was finishing up, I started thinking...

How often in my own life do I have some sort of caked on mess that I push aside to avoid dealing with? 

And the reality is that happens probably a lot more than I really care to admit.  But eventually you know you have to get around to dealing with it...Or, you keep pushing it off, but then you burn everything else you set to cook in the pan of your life.

I've done that too.

I was thinking as I scrubbed that pan until it shone this morning about how God will scrub us sometimes to set us clean again.  And a few verses came to mind....

Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

Or how about... Phillipians 1:6 - "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Both encouraging.  And I was thinking about the promise of creating something clean...and completing a good work.  But I was also reminded that cleaning off some nasty stuck on goo isn't always a pretty or painless process.  

The goo got there because I let it happen.  

I didn't stir the onions as frequently as I should have because I was busy doing other things at the same time.  Or maybe I didn't forgive someone when I should have because that just wasn't something I was up to doing that day.  Or maybe I let too much time pass after an argument with my husband....or didn't show grace to my kids when I knew that I should've.  Or maybe I put too much of my trust in people...and not in God. 

And thus, the goo builds up...

So today, I was thinking to myself... What goo in my life do I need to take a Brillo pad to in order to clean it up?  And when the Lord gently scrubs that goo, will I be angry at him for cleaning ever so gently? (Because still sometimes even when gentle, the Brillo can chafe.  But then again, it's that very action that gets it clean.)  Or can I keep my eyes on the God of the clean pan that I know I want my life to be in the end?  A pan that will make a great meal, or create a delicious sauce... a pan that delivers goodness when it's in use?

I'm pretty sure I know which kind of pan I want to be.  Do you?

To write or not to write....tips on Thank You Notes

I think I heard a saying once that went something like...

"Southern born and Southern bred, and when I die I'll be Southern dead."

And any good Southerner, well "bless our hearts," we know how to mind our manners.

My mom enrolled me in cotillion when I was in middle school to learn etiquette.  Things like which fork to use at dinner if there are 5 of them, how to foxtrot (which has been ever so helpful in child-rearing), how to write a proper acceptance letter to a wedding (because at 12 I was hot on the wedding circuit,) and more!  And I'm not even as prim and proper as some, but when it comes to questions on etiquette, you can bet that if I don't already know it, I'll find out.  

And noone knows what's proper better than Emily Post.

Last night I went to a baby shower of a dear friend.  I just love baby showers and I LOVE giving gifts!  But after writing almost 450 Thank You notes surrounding the occasion of my own nuptials, I really don't love writing Thank You notes anymore.  I still do them, and there are times when I really enjoy writing a note (particularly when I have received something unexpected, or from someone far away) but I often feel like after a shower for a person, she is left with a pile of notes that have to get written to thank someone she was actually able to hug and gush over a gift with in person.


And since my wedding, I learned something pretty interesting about Thank You Note etiquette...

"The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person." - Emily Post

That's what her book said when I got married.  But I wanted to double check again in case something had changed, so I went to none other than EmilyPost.com to find the answer.  And I did come across something interesting that I thought I'd share with regards to note writing.


And here's what Emily herself says about it:

It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you—and—people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing. Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:

Shower gifts:  Even though the gift giver attended the shower in your honor and you had a chance to say thanks for her gift, you should still send a written note.

Wedding gifts:  Each wedding gift should be acknowledged with a written note within three months of receipt of the gift. It’s best to write the notes as soon as possible after gifts arrive, however. Write a note even if you have thanked the giver in person.

Congratulatory gifts or cards:  Anyone who sends a present, or a card with a personally written message, should receive a note in return.

Gifts received when sick:  Thank-you notes should be written as soon as the patient feels well enough—or a friend or relative can write the notes. It’s okay to call close friends rather than write.

Condolence notes or gifts:  Everyone who has sent a personal note, flowers or a donation should get a written thank-you. A close friend or relative can write the notes on the recipient’s behalf.

So to my friend the baby shower was for... Turns out that I was wrong.  It appears that mannerly speaking, for a shower gift, you still have to write a note even though you thanked us all and hugged us all last night.  I will say however, DO NOT write one to me...still.  I know you liked the gift.

So according to Ms. Post, I'm not sure that there is an occasion to not write a note after all.  Dinner invitation maybe?  But I have a list of rules that I'll share with you for dealing with me.

If I give you a gift and you open it in front of me, give me a hug and thank me then.  Instead of writing me a note later, just do something nice for yourself...like take a bath, or have a glass of wine!

If I bring a gift to your wedding, I do want a note...not so much that you can gush over the thing that I picked out for you that wasn't on your registry, but mostly so that I can know you got it and it wasn't broken.  Same things goes for if I mail you something.  And, for me, you can call me, or shoot me an email to let me know.  Mostly, I want something letting me know that you actually received what I took the time to get for you.

But I will say this... despite all the rules and etiquette surrounding Thank You notes, there really is something to be said for leafing through bills and magazines by the mailbox and seeing an envelope with a handwritten name on it that is shaped like a piece of stationary.  It's a good feeling.  And in an age where everything is geared towards electronics, and being quick and efficient, pretty much anyone I know gets a warm fuzzy feeling when reading a handwritten note.  I'll say though that my favorite ones are unexpected...the ones just to say "thanks for being a friend", "hope your week gets better," "I'm praying for you just because I love you," or "just thinking of you."

So if I've ever forgotten to write you a note, then I'm sorry.  If you've ever forgotten to write me one, no sweat.  It seems to me that ol' Emily defined what's truly mannerly though when she said:

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."

And I'm thinking that if THAT statement is your rule of thumb... to write or not to write will be less of a question.

PS. For Thank You notes from kids, HERE are some good ideas on how to get those done. (This is also something that with me personally...you don't have to do!)

Who are you?...in 4 words or less.

Women are a lot of things.

And for some reason today I got to thinking about all that I am as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and all the other titles that could easily apply to me.  And then I started wondering if I had to put into words all of that, but somehow a compilation spanning beyond each individual thing....what would I say?

So I did what anyone would do and I posted the question on facebook!  With a twist...4 words or less.

If you had to sum up your role as wife, mom, friend, daughter, etc in 4 words or less (but one cohesive thought)...what would you say?

 And so far...I'm loving the responses.  Some gals are writing things like:

Work of Heart

Exhausted but Worth It

Hard Work that's Rewarding

Earthly Warrior for Jesus

Loving Those I Love

Serving My Divine Purpose

Frustrated with Joy

From Bows to Screwdrivers

And I can't quite decide myself what I'd say...but I keep thinking of things like "Two Hands Holding Many, More than Just Mom, One Life Changing Many"....but I can't pin it down just yet.

So from facebook to blogroll....Who are you in 4 words or less? (This has to be one cohesive thought...not just 4 words.)

Get the comments rolling.  I think this one will be fun!

 

 

Ps. I know you've all seen the picture above of "Rosie the Riveter" which was made popular during WWII.  I put her up there because she's become quite the symbol of all that women can do.  To learn more about the interesting history of Rosie and that picture, click HERE.  Pretty interesting stuff. Thanks Wikipedia!

Food for Thought....Do what you say!

Oh my words is it raining cats and dogs here.  The kind of soaking rain that is great for our grass, but will inevitably do a number on our septic tank....again.  Better enjoy the master bathroom today, because I forsee a good 4-8 days ahead of avoidance.  One day we'll add more drainfields....one day.

So I have to tell you about a situation that happened to me last night.  After a long day of surgery with a baby (and ridiculous comments from anesthesiologists,) I just wasn't in the mood for "situations."

My mom came to help yesterday with my kiddos.  (SO thankful for her by the way!)  And last night, at the end of a hard day, she treated us to take out.  Good takeout too!

I called to place the order over the phone and when the girl put me on hold to transfer the call, I was listening to the restaurant's pre-recorded loop of specials, advertisements, etc.  Pretty much as soon as I was put on hold there was an add saying "If you place a pick-up order online with our online ordering service, as a way to say thank-you, we will give you 4 of our delicious bakery muffins absolutely free!"

So obviously, I hung up and got online!  They have good muffins people!

I placed the order online, so excited about my 4 free muffins!  If I'd known there was online ordering, I'd probably have done that anyways...but I didn't.  So thanks to their phone information loop, I was going to score 4 muffins now too!  WOOHOO!

The hubs asked me after I'd placed the order if we'd get bread with our dinner since it was pick-up and I wasn't sure, so I called to ask.  Also, I figured if I got to choose the muffin types, I might as well ask that too.  Turned out we did get bread!  Score.  But get a load of the following conversation....

Me: "Oh, I also wanted to ask about the 4 muffins we get for ordering online.  Do I get to choose the flavors or is it prepackaged?"

Hostess: "I don't know about the muffins. Let me ask my manager."

pause...she comes back. "Ma'm, we don't offer muffins just for ordering online.  I'm not sure where you saw that online, but our store does not do that."

"Well, I didn't see it online.  I called originally to place my order with you and when you placed me on hold, I heard it on your phone loop.  It was your store's phone that offered the special."

"I'm sorry ma'm, I am not aware of that special.  We do not offer muffins for online ordering.  I'm sorry for the misunderstanding."

Ok....now let me just say here that I do have a pretty decent understanding of the English language, and if something says "If you place a pick-up order online with our online ordering service, as a way to say thank-you, we will give you 4 of our delicious bakery muffins absolutely free!"...I don't know, I guess I understand that to mean that they will give you 4 actual delicious bakery muffins free.  If it had been in Chinese or German, I'm pretty sure I would have misunderstood, but this message was actually in my native language....English.  And I'm confident that I did not misunderstand.

So I said..."Well, that's fine if you don't stand by your own advertisement, but I would recommend that you remove the offer from your store's phone loop just to avoid further confusion."

And then I let it go.  But I was ticked.  Not because I care that much about the stupid muffins.  But I'm one of those people that if I say I'm going to do something, I do it.  And I expect other people to do the same.  And I REALLY expect businesses to stand by their own advertisements.  If they forgot to take a sign off of a sale rack, their fault...I think they should honor the sale price.  If they say buy one get one free and don't have an end date printed on the coupon....well, I expect that deal to be honored.  If a special is intended for "new customers only" but that isn't stated ANYWHERE in the ad, well then...even if I am an old customer...I expect that to be extended...even if it was just their goof.

I'm not trying to put anyone out of business or anything, but I just go by the old idea of "say what you mean, and mean what you say."  Oh yeah, I've read that before somewhere else too....how about "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'" from the Bible?!  All to say...I'm BIG on doing what you say.

When I was a freshman in college I volunteered to be in charge of the freshman Homecoming float project in the first month or so of school.  I was thrilled when 150 people signed up over a couple of days to help.  What a turn-out!  Until the time came to actually build the float and there were only TEN of us working on it.  All. Night. Long.  And that night I learned a sad but important lesson about the world.

 Most people do not do what they say they will do.

Bummer.

But that doesn't mean that I will be one of those people.

My mom was the one who went in to pick up our take-out.  I had forgotten to tell her about the muffin debauchle since we wouldn't be getting any muffins anyhow.  Apparently somewhere between the phone call and the pick-up though, a waiter there concurred with my understanding of the phone loop ad and I guess they decided we should get some muffins afterall.  So in the end, we got 4 delicious bakery muffins absolutely free because the restaurant did end up standing by what they had advertised.  But the moral of the story here for me is that...I have issues when people don't do what they say they will.

Be different people.  Be honorable.  Be trustworthy.  Be dependable.  And for crying out loud...don't say you'll do something if you know that you never will!

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.  ~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

It's got to start somewhere.

Happy Weekend!