Blogging from the Bush: Letters from a Sailor

I have a confession.  I haven't posted the letter from my Navy Sailor brother yet because I've been hemming and hawing over if the total blunt truth straight from the mouth of a semi-salty sailor would put you all over the edge with me.

I've sent the letter to a couple of friends to gauge their reactions and we all agree it's completely and harshly stereotypical of sailors, females on board, and human behaviors in general.  The letter contains a lot of truths, some hilarious exaggerations, some offensive generalizations, and a dose of real life on an aircraft carrier for months on end.  That being said....here it is.  If you hate it, don't hate me.  If you love it, send my brother a carepackage.  If you think his letter is offensive but still appreciate the fact that he's out there on a boat for months away from friends and family, send him a letter?  A nice one?! :-)

A few things you should know:  My brother calls me Gogie, I call him Buds.  He is a great and decent guy with a fantastic sense of humor.  I love him to death and if you say anything mean about him, well...do it elsewhere.  This is my blog and I'll not tolerate anyone hating on my family.  Remember my post the other day?! He wrote this letter June 14th...I've been sitting on it that long.  That being said...here you go. 

Hey Gogie,

Sorry it’s been a while, but with all the port visits recently it’s been difficult to sit down for more than a minute or two and write.

So we left Italy and are finally headed out to our area of responsibility, so no more port calls for a while I don’t think.  The entirety of deployment is looming pretty large right now.  We’ve not done very much and have so much left until we can return.  Some people count down the days, but that doesn’t help me a bit.  I like to just kind of zone out so that when I do think about it there’s more chance for a pleasant surprise of a week having gone by without noticing it…Or something along those lines. 

Having been a month out, a lot of guys are starting to get what we refer to as “boat goggles”.  Kind of like beer goggles, but longer lasting and infinitely more dangerous.  The females on board that aren’t worth a second glance are starting to look PRET-TY good.  

      “Whateva bro, I think that snaggletooth is kinda distinguishin’ like.”  

Yeah, that stuff is starting to pop up in conversations, and although it’s not very severe right now, well…5 months from now its gonna be really, really, REALLY bad.  

“Wow!  That chick is pretty hairy but she’s got a killer body!”  “Yeah, once you get past that and her hunchback she’s not bad.  And those festering sores around her mouth.  And her brutish Neanderthal brow. But yeah you should totally go for it!”

I’m not looking forward to that.  But once we do get back to the states the real women are all smoking hot.  It’s an unexpected silver lining.

A pretty interesting phenomenon I see in port is that even though we’re in some pretty awesome and exotic ports, I still see people going out and eating at McDonald’s or Pizza Hut or something along those lines.  I’m kinda embarrassed, actually.  There’s a lack of creativity I guess.

Fortunately tonight my shop doesn’t have much work to do.  We are waiting for another shop to test run a jet before we re-install the motor we removed so they could replace their equipment.  And then once we re-install the engine we have to run it up again to Op check that.  And there are a lot of little tasks to do, too, like corrosion prevention measures, documenting training, cleaning out toolboxes, and finding a working toilet, etc.  

Alright sis, I’ll write some more later,

Love you,

Buds

So, there you have it.  I'll have him get a few others to send in some letters as well and keep up the original "Blogging from the Bush" plan of highlighting a different sailor every few weeks.  So for the next couple of weeks I'll post my brother's address on the bottom of each post so that you can send letters, carepackages, etc to him.  I sent him a package today with 2 loaves of vacuum sealed banana bread, a pkg of new boxers, a funny tshirt, some candy, some beef jerky, and a few other odds and ends.  Thanks for supporting our military...this coming holiday weekend wouldn't be celebrated if it wasn't for our military!  So show some love and send a sailor a package!

 Send a Sailor some love:

AD3 Lane, Landon

VFA-15
Unit 60143
                                                      FPO AE 09504-6201

Standard shipping rates apply (meaning, it costs the same to ship to them as any normal letter)